Get Back at the Neighbors with these Unique Halloween Treats

Humor

  by  Kevin Heintz

by Kevin Heintz

Nothing is more fun than a friendly rivalry between neighbors. My ongoing rivalry started three years ago when a new family moved next door. The Gilberts. They’re attractive, friendly, and have a perfect lawn. Do they make me feel insecure? A little. But does that give me the right to act incredibly petty? Definitely. 

During their first October in the neighborhood, they won the Halloween decorating contest. I spent the entire summer planning my display, and they came in and swooped up the prize. With a smile, I congratulated them. I didn’t end up with any hard feelings; toilet papering their home later that night made me feel much better.   

The next Halloween, the Gilbert children, Aiden and Madison, pranked me with ding-dong-ditch. Their parents said it was an accident. Well, accidents happen. Shortly after, I took my sharpest craft knife and accidentally slashed mommy and daddy’s tires. Whoops! 

After that little mishap, the Gilberts stopped talking to us. Can you imagine the nerve? 

However, I’ve devised a little trick in the name of neighborly rivalry. On my extensive property, there are many wild, unidentified berries. I’ve been curious which ones are inedible. I'll find out with this easy, festive project. 

 My wild berries are ripe, and I'm excited for the chance to test them.

My wild berries are ripe, and I'm excited for the chance to test them.

For this project, you’ll need:

-Scissors

-Tissue paper

-Unidentified berries (dipped in chocolate) 

-Ribbon

-A slight vindictive quality

 A festive paper colored orange or purple makes children love these treats.

A festive paper colored orange or purple makes children love these treats.

Step 1: After picking my unidentified berries (about 2 cups), I dip them in chocolate to make them look appealing. Kids usually dislike dark chocolate, which means that milk or white chocolate is best for this project. I've prepared both types for the Gilbert children. 

 Step 1

Step 1

Step 2: After the berries are dried and bagged, I wrap them in festive Halloween tissue, and tie off with ribbons. You may want to make additional baggies for other children in your life. 

 Step 2

Step 2

On Halloween night, when Aiden and Madison knock on my door, I’ll give them these special treats. During the following days, I’ll monitor the Gilberts. If the children live, my berries are safe to eat. If not, I'll be sure to avoid them. Readers should check in after Halloween for a possible follow-up article on how to throw a wake on a budget.  

[The above article is purely for comedic entertainment purposes ONLy] 

 

more (non-lethal) halloween treats to make this season 

Keith Blackmerberries